


You are my wind

by HardHeaded (orphan_account)



Series: Adoptable Works and Prompts [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Erwin's a good guy I promise, In the end Nile's a good guy too, M/M, Mike likes Levi, Work Up For Adoption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-07-23 00:18:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7459174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/HardHeaded
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin's in senior year and has never dated.<br/>So Nile bets him to go and ask the lonesome, friendless almost-punk: Levi, the short boy with the steel gaze.</p><p>Only, as every good cliché wants, things don't go exactly as planned.</p><p> </p><p>Guys, it's still me, nobody stole the work, in case someone cared enough to wonder or even to do it in the first place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I wanted to do some angsty fluff. I sat down and started writing.  
> I have the story planned out but, as English isn't my first language, I'd very much like some help. Anyone out there?

 

 

 

> _“Ben poco ama colui che ancora può esprimere, a parole, quanto ami”_  
>  _(Very little loves the man that can still express, with words, how much he loves)_  
>  _Dante Alighieri_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
The chaos at lunch hour is something that will forever baffle Erwin.  
Chaos in general is something that Erwin has difficulties accepting, but he does. He has to, at least while he still frequents school. And Hange.

He really doesn’t recall meeting them for the first time. Hange has just been a part of his life forever, like Mike and Nile.  
They’ve been friends since they were toddlers and lived near each other. Meeting up at the park nearly every day, at Erwin’s house every friday night, hanging out and sitting togheter at lunch. Like now.

  
“I’m telling you, the biggest boobies I’ve ever seen -and I’ve seen quite a few trust me- and she just keeps bending over to pick up things that somehow fall always near me…”  
Nile was gesturing wildly, with an almost feral glint in his eyes, while Mike was trying to protect his sandwich from being flung across the lunch room.  
Hange was munching happily on their own lunch, engrossed in their mashed potatoes and mindless of Nile’s entusiasm. Contrary of Erwin, who was trying to make his friend see reason.  
“I’m pretty sure the History teacher is not interested in you, judging by the fact she’s engaged…” and that she really tends to drop _everything_.  
“By the way” interjected Hange, who apparently wasn’t so engrossed in the food after all “Weren’t you trying to get into the pants of that blonde guy, Alvin?”  
“Armin?” corrected Nile, snorting. “Nah. He’s got that damned hot-headed watchdog breathing down his neck. I really don’t want to get suspended for beating a freshman. And that girl with the scarf gives me the creeps.”  
Mike gave a little smirk and Hange downright hollered. “Nile Dok is scared of a freshman!”

Nile swatted them on the head, hissing. “No, what the fuck are you shouting about, you shithead! I’m just thinking about my future career.”  
Erwin hummed, with a smile of his own. Nile looked at him and snorted again.  
“What do you have to be so smug about, Smith? I’m pretty sure you’ve never ever sticked your little friend up som-”  
“I’m eating” said Mike placidly.  
Nile huffed.  
“I mean, come on. You don’t think I can be the hot lover that manages to sway the hot chick away from the rich dumb guy?”  
“No” said Mike, finishing his sandwich.  
“And if you really want to think about your _future career_ , you should start studying for that math test instead of trying to seduce a teacher into an illegal relationship” said Erwin.  
Nile looked at him strangely.  
“First, that chick looks way too young and hot to be teaching and second, you don’t know what it means to feel compelled to just go and bend someone over, fuck the system and all that illegal shit.”  
He smirked. “I’m starting to wonder if you’re asexual, Erwin. Really, I’ve practically never seen you look even the least bit infatuated or worked up, or set on something else that isn’t studying”.  
Erwin shrugged. “I have priorities”.  
Nile laughed. “Sure. I don’t think you even know how to ask someone out, let alone how to get laid.”

Erwin felt some primal need to defend his honor.  
“I’ll have you know, I did date once. Even kissed her.”  
Nile waved a hand. “Holding hands in elementary school and a peck on the cheek don’t count, Smith. No, I’m considering the serious stuff here.”  
The blonde shrugged again. “I could date anyone, it’s just that nobody has caught my eye yet. And like I said, I have priorities.”  
Nile looked horrified. “Dude, you’re a senior. You can’t just get out of here a virgin. Hell, even that Haddock nerd managed to get himself laid.”  
“True” said Hange. “You have to consider other priorities that are as much priorities as the priorities you think are prior.”  
Erwin scoffed. “And what right have you to -wait no, I don’t want to know” he cut them off before they could reply.

  
“Anyway” resumed Nile “The only reason I see for this reluctance is _inability_.”  
“I told you-”  
“Let’s make a bet”  
Erwin was taken aback. “What?”  
Nile smiled, a dangerous smile. “You said you could date anyone. I bet you couldn’t get Punkie to go out with you.”  
“I could very well…” then Erwin registered. “…Wait, Ackerman…?”  
Nile hummed. “I bet you won’t be able to get him to kiss you on his own before the end of the semester.”

“I’m on it.”

 

 

Erwin, in his worry, managed to stay stable in the flow of students on the corridor.  
He was really starting to doubt his sanity. What on Earth?  
Levi Ackerman, the almost-punk.  
He was short, grumpy, friendless and wore eyeliner. He had a liking for tight dark pants and ACDC shirts. And he possessed a glare that intimidated even the Headmaster.

He wasn’t hard to spot, but Erwin was rooted in place.  
Slowly, the flow diminished and soon, they were the only ones left in the corridor.  
Levi kept rummaging throught his locker, soft sounds that didn’t disturb the quietness.  
Until he slammed it shut and fixed Erwin with two cold, steely eyes that sent shivers down the tall young man.

“The fuck do you want?”  
Oh. The foul mouth too. And the paleness.  
“Oi, eyebrows. You got something to ask? You look constipated.”  
Erwin realized the other boy had been calling to him for quite some time, but he really didn’t know what to say. He, role model student, excellent football player, with a knack for elegant speech and jackets.  
_How am I supposed to date this guy if I can’t even ask him out?…_  
Then he realized he had just proved Nile right, and thank God Nile wasn’t there.  
No, Erwin steered himself. Now he’d go over, present himself and ask Levi if maybe he wanted to go grab coffee someti-  
“Are you fucking serious?”  
Except Levi had come over first and was practically looking him down with an air of pure disgust, even if he was shorter than him by a good head and a half.

Erwin gulped. “Hello.”  
Levi arched an eyebrow.

“I’m Erwin Smith.”  
“I know who you are.”  
Right. “I was just wondering if… if…”  
“Out with it, Erwin Smith. I’m already late for class.”

“Wanna date?”

What? Where had all his elegant speech gone?  
Levi looked just as baffled as he felt, but he managed to regain his composture in seconds, the usual deadpan expression back in place.  
“Right” he said flatly, hooking his bag higher on his shoulder and turning away “go fuck with someone else.”

  
_Uh? I just wanted to grab coffee, not-_  
Erwin smacked himself (in his mind. His limbs were still uncooperative.) and helplessy watched the short figure saunter away.  
The blonde noticed the slightest swaying of hips. _Although…_

  
_Well damn, Smith._

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((Sorry Farkensh (I'm abbreviating 'cause I'm in a hurry heh) but I'm posting this work on another site at the same time and I promised them a certain frequency and I'm already late so sorry if I didn't wait for you to reply, I'm just gonna accept corrections and eventually edit the chapters again sorry))  
> Also, this is pretty short, but the next one's gonna be longer, promise.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Dude, you can’t be serious”  
Nile looked positively disappointed -in Erwin, _Nile_ disappointed of _Erwin_ \- and even Mike had frozen, hand hovering mid way from his mouth to the chips bag.

The three were, like every friday night, pajama partying at Erwin’s house.  
(Hange was home, sick. They had caught something while experimenting with Professor Moblit. Who was sick too).  
And Erwin had just finished telling them the disastrous (in his eyes and not only, apparently) outcome of his first tentative at dating Levi.

  
Nile was tossing his head this way and that, and Erwin was starting to find the whole situation irritating.  
“I mean, seriously, Erwin? _Wanna date?_ That’s not something even I would have said without even presenting myself decently”  
“I told you, I tried to talk. But he already knew me and he said he was late and…”  
Erwin was positively dejected, and didn’t even understand why it mattered so much. It wasn’t like he was actually interested in Levi… it was just a stupid bet.

_Exactly, Smith. A bet._  
That’s what bothered him. He was going to illude the other boy, go around him. He’d lie to Levi, using him and then discarding him without any consideration for either of their feelings.

“I don’t think this is a really good idea. He’s still got feelings.”  
And apparently, Mike was on the same page. So Erwin nodded with a pensive look.  
Nile looked at the both of them.  
“What, you’re worried about some little lonesome punk’s feelings? He probably doesn’t have any. Just look at him.”  
But Erwin remembered a flash of shock, of uncertainty, of a somewhat pleased surprise on a pale face.  
“Are you chickening out, Smith?”

So Erwin shook his head. “No.”  
Mike gave him an hesitant look. A gentle giant, after all.  
Nile, instead, looked like his birthday had come early.

“What you really need then, my friend, is to impress him” he started, sitting more straight and looking like Professor Jeager when he started explaining some difficult chemical stuff.  
“He already knows you, right? Probably from the football. You’re pretty good after all-”  
“And still manage to get good grades” muttered Mike.  
“-so you have to invest some time into that. Invite him casually to practice… He takes Art, right? Maybe he’d like to, dunno, sketch some moving figures or something like that…”  
“Why don’t you put the planning and cunning into the studying too?” asked Erwin.  
Nile made a face.

They kept talking about ways to impress Levi. Football, compliments, small meaningful gifts.  
“And most importantly, never cease asking him out. This way, be it you impressed him or wore him out, he’ll probably give you a chance.”

That night, Erwin fell asleep thinking about silvery eyes.

 

 

In the sports locker there was always the scent of sweat, stale deodorant and musky shampoo.  
Somewhat, to Erwin it was a comforting scent.  
He liked to linger behind, wait for his teammates to get off the dirt and sweat and bask in the quietness of the empty room, feel the pleasant numbness left after the training or the match.

This monday, tought, he wasn’t alone.  
Reiner had been looking at him strangely the whole time, and wasn’t leaving. Bertholt, ever the faithful friend, was there too.

“So” drawled Reiner, comfortably sprawled on a bench “I heard you’re trying to bang the grumpy shortie.”  
Erwin shook his head politely.  
“I’m trying to date.”  
Bertholt nearly choked on his water bottle. Reiner lightly patted him on the back, arching an eyebrow at the blonde.  
Erwin though was worried. “Where did you hear that, anyway?”  
Reiner waved a hand. “Nile was a little tipsy yesterday night. Is it truly a bet?”

Right. “Er, do me a favor. Try to not talk about it. If Levi gets word, he’ll never want anything to do with me.”  
Reiner smirked. “Bang him hard, quarterback.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can read the Italian version on EFP under the title "Sei tu il vento che mi sorregge".  
> Also, someone knows how to change the profile image? I'm really inept.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My writing policy says "Only post the new chapter when the next one is finished". I wrote ch 4 in record time, so.

_Let the quest begin._

Erwin fixated his stare on the short raven.  
He analyzed his posture, his expression, the way he held himself toward the other students. He almost always glared coldly when someone got too close for his liking, making the poor one shy away.

So Erwin walked calmly, with an air of purpose, slowly as to not startle him. He tried remaining under Levi’s radar, but those steely eyes noticed him and planted themsleves on his figure almost immediately.  
Of course.  
The tall blonde tried not to falter in his step and kept nearing the hostile boy. Levi, for his part, didn’t give any sign of wanting to acnowledge his presence other than the cold fleeting glare.

_Here we go._

“Hello, Levi”  
Erwin positioned himself behind him, maintaining a respectful distance, uphelding the facade of a perfectly normal senior following the line to get his lunch.  
Levi ignored him. But Erwin was on a mission.  
“So” - _casual conversation_ \- “how’s it going?”  
Levi looked at him, indecipherable expression in place. “It goes.”

_He answered!_  
Erwin tried ignoring the giddiness that simple, deadpan response awakened.  
He hummed. “That it does.”  
Levi arched an eyebrow and turned away. Not that he was looking at him that much to begin with.  
At that point, Erwin found himself short of arguments. He realized then that he knew absolutely nothing about Levi except his name, his surname, his usual appearance and attire and that he took Art class.  
_Then it’s simple enough_ , he reasoned. _Try to know him better. That’s usually what people do when they’re interested in someone._  
He decided to start with the basic things.  
“Do you have any hobbies?”  
This time, Levi turned around fully. He looked him right in the eye, and said nothing.  
Erwin managed to held his stare for a handful of seconds before feeling awkward. He tried very hard not to fidget and keep staring back.  
After half a minute, he was starting to feel cold sweat running down his back.

“Uh. Line’s moving.”  
At that, Levi smirked and turned again, advancing some steps. Erwin managed to let loose the breath he was holding, before he found himself pinned by the grey stare again.  
Only, Levi’s eyes weren’t just grey. Erwin saw specks of icy blue here and there and noticed that if Levi turned his head just this way they would catch the light and glow.  
Like a cat’s.  
The image of a grumpy black kitten with big, silver, slitted eyes made Erwin forget his anxiety for just a moment.  
Then he realized that if he imagined the short ravenette with cat ears on top of his head and a swishing tail, that intimidating, panic-inducing aura the boy emanated dissipated almost entirely.

Levi was actually frowning. His brow was furrowed and a shade of irritated confusion flickered in his eyes.  
“Oi” the sharp voice shook Erwin from his musings.  
“Yes?” the blonde exibited a happy smile. “So can I offer you lunch?”  
Levi regained his deadpan expression. “Pathetic.” And turned again.

 

 

The corridor was deserted. Erwin now knew, maybe taking a small advantage from his position as the Headmaster’ nephew, Levi’s whole schedule and had discovered they shared a free hour on Wednesday.  
Erwin tried to blend in with the shadows in the far corner, while still maintaining a good view of Levi’s locker and of the blooming red rose attacched to it along with a note.

  
_Would you like to have coffee togheter someday? I’d like to know you better  
-Erwin Smith_

  
He really hoped it wasn’t pathetic. Who didn’t like coffee anyway?  
At that, Levi’s short figure appeared around the corner, waltzing up to the locker. He was humming something, an almost-smile stretching his lips, a faraway look on his face.  
Erwin was mesmerized. That was the first pleasant expression he ever saw on the other boy’s face.

Levi had reached the locker with the rose. The tune stopped abruptly. The raven just stood, looking at it for a few moments, before reaching and delicately removing it. He took the note with the other hand and held it open, eyes still on the beautiful flower, then turned his head slightly to read it, blocking his face from Erwin’s vision.

Said boy held his breath, not daring to move.  
After a few seconds, Levi took a step back and opened his locker. He grabbed a pencil, closed it, leaned on it and wrote something, keeping the rose delicately in his teeth. Then he reattached the note and sauntered away, twirling the rose in his fingers and resuming the soft hum.

  
Erwin waited three full minutes, to make sure Levi really went away.  
Then he paced slowly toward the small white card and saw a single new word.

_Cliché._

 

 

The rush after the last bell was a small mistery to Erwin, much like lunch hour. He simply didn’t see the need to catapult oneself out of the building.

That day, however, he started running like no tomorrow: the Art class was practically on the other side of the school compared to Erwin’s last class.  
He dodged surprised students, bad looks and half-hearted insults (nobody really wanted to insult a quarterback) and barely made it just as Levi was exiting the class.  
“Wai’…” he panted, more from the relief than the fatigue (he trained regularly, after all), ignoring all the stares but Levi’s. Who was a little dumbfounded.  
Erwin tried to lean casually on the wall near the door. “I was wondering, you know-”  
“Oh please” hissed Levi.  
“-an’ thought maybe ya’d like some tutorin’ in Math?…”  
Levi stared. Then glared.

_Black kitten ears. Tail. Black kitten ears. Tail. Black kitten ears…_

Levi turned and stormed away.

 

 

“Would you like to have coffee togheter sometime?”  
Levi rolled his eyes, but Erwin would forever swear he saw a flicker of a smile.  
The raven kept twirling the food on his tray, head propped up on his hand, half amused, half annoyed stare fixated on the persistent blonde.

Erwin, for his part, was finding it easier and easier to look Levi in the eyes without fidgeting. More often than not, he found himself getting lost trying to discern exactly what colour they were.  
That day, a luminescent silver.  
Even the abrasive personality Levi was usually faulted with wasn’t so abrasive.  
The short boy was silent, observant, and Erwin had understood, days ago, that Levi was actually very insecure and was traditionally hiding it behind the mask of the fearsome loner.

So the more time Erwin spent trying to win a bet, the more he discovered a person that, in his mind, was not only actually very interesting but a worthy opponent, and could very well be a valuable ally.  
In the rare occasions in which he managed not to completely screw up his image in Levi’s eyes, indeed, Erwin found himself having brief, meaningful conversations.  
Levi was talking to him more and more and while a part of the blonde was secretely rejoicing, another was actually pondering the possibility of making a friend. One that wasn’t as boisterous and arrogant as Nile, or as silent and toughtful as Mike, or as loud and unconventional as Hange.

Speaking of the devil.

“HELLO!”  
Levi startled. Erwin sighed.  
Hange plopped down in the seat near Levi, trapping him between themselves and the wall, giving him an exceedingly happy, slightly crazed smile. To his credit, Levi didn’t budge all that much and replied with an almost murderous glare.  
“The fuck do you want, four-eyes?”  
_Oh. It must be a default response_. Erwin lifted his eyes to find an apologetic Mike and a smirking Nile.  
“Tought you could use the company” the latter said, sitting near the blonde, Erwin spied Mike negating with a slight shook of his head. The tall boy stood standing, looking at the raven with curious eyes. He sniffed the air a little and then settled at the head of the table. Levi kept an eye on him the whole time, choosing to completely ignore Nile.  
To Erwin, it looked like a kitten and a dog meeting for the first time.  
“Yeah” chirped Hange “it’s not proper to make bedroom eyes at one another in the middle of the canteen.”  
Levi bristled. “You…”  
“Looked more like a stare contest to me” said Nile.  
“No, no” replied Hange “they were more dopey-sweety-like this time”  
_Dopey…? Wait, this time?_  
Erwin was perplexed. Were they simply staring at each other? More than once?  
He tought back to their previous encounters, excluding the big-fails. Indeed, there were two prevalent constants: staring, and Erwin’s coffee-question.

Abruptly, Levi sat up and managed to wriggle past Hange, storming out with a fuming look, making the other students clear out the path for the short dark haired fury.

 

 

Ewin managed to convince Hange to not come at Levi’s table again.  
Mike looked relieved, but Nile had a strange look on his face. Erwin noticed it, but chose to not say anything.  
He started keeping an eye on him whenever the subject of the ravenette and the bet came up.

  
One day, Levi didn’t come to lunch. Nor did he the following day, or the day after that or the one after. Erwin knew he wasn’t sick, because he had discovered they had Science togheter and he saw Levi every other day, even if the other boy always managed to disappear before Erwin could reach him. Probably because Erwin’s desk was always a mess and he lost precious time cleaning it, contrary of Levi who managed to keep it spotless.

So that Friday, Erwin skipped lunch too. He mentally made a list of all the possible places Levi could be and quickly checked them out. Art class, backyard, the roof, the shady empty classroom… the library.

Levi was in a corner, hunched over a book whose title the blonde couldn’t see, seated on the edge of the nearest chair.  
Erwin silently walked up to him and spied over his shoulder.  
“…Math?”

Levi startled so hard he fell off the chair, and he didn’t hit the floor only because Erwin, with quick reflexes, caught him under the armpits.

They were both so shocked that neither moved for almost a minute.  
Levi’s body was so tense Erwin was afraid one wrong move would snap it. So he delicately lifted him and put him back on the chair. He took two steps backwards, then rounded the table and awkwardly seated himself in front of the other boy.

Before he could utter a word, Levi spoke up.  
“I’m risking Math” he said.  
Erwin tried very hard to hide his glee (because he was right before and because now he had an excuse to spend time with Levi, and he really shouldn’t show happiness in the face of anyone’s distress) and spoke calmly.  
“I could tutor you, if you want. I like Math.”  
“I hate it” grumbled Levi and shook his head lightly.  
“Do you?” Erwin was a little confused “But it’s so… neat. And tidy.”  
Levi glared at him.

“Monday, after school. Meet me here.”  
Erwin hesitated.  
“I have practice on Monday. And Wednesday and Friday.”  
Levi shrugged.

“Then meet me here after practice.”

 

 

Erwin wasn’t sure if a study appointment could be considered a date.  
They weren’t going to hold hands and sip beverages and smile at each other in a sunny café, while they told each other of their respective lives and feelings.  
But they were going to sit togheter, and do Math and maybe Erwin would be able to sit close enough… to get Levi to kiss him. In due time.  
The shiver that went down his back was strange for Erwin, because he’d felt it only once before, briefly, when he was a young teen convinced he’d marry Marie.

Erwin’s thoughts were a perpetual whirlwind concerning morality, personal and stupidly prideful honour, strange feelings and assignments deadlines, often blurring the world around him.  
So he realized he’d walked to Levi’s locker instead of his own only when he heard the hissing voice of it’s owner resounding down the hallway.

“Get the fuck lost, you big oaf.”  
Levi was practically backed against the locker, clutching some books to his chest, even though he wasn’t showing any fear as he glared murderously up at Reiner, who had both arms at the short raven’s sides and a sly smirk plastered on his face.  
Behind them was the ever faithful Bertholt, wringling his hands with a somewhat pained expression. Other students were giving them puzzled looks, but maintained a safety distance. Probably because of Levi’s face.  
“Oh come on sweetie” replied Reiner, unfazed. “Just give me a chance and I’ll show you.”  
Levi was visibly trying not to smack him where the sun doesn’t shine upon, and he growled: “Why the fuck is it that suddenly you’re all trying to get into my pants?”  
Reiner smiled. “They’re just the right side of tight.”  
Even Bertholt paled.  
_Oh my God._

“Reiner.”  
Erwin had had enough. He maintained a calm demeanor while his teammate looked up at him with wide eyes for a moment, then regained the sly face. “Hello buddy.”  
Erwin narrowed his eyes. “Would you please let go of Levi?”  
“I’m not holding him.” replied Reiner flatly.  
Levi then tried to wriggle out under his arm, but Reiner grabbed him and put him back against the locker, almost gently.  
Levi bristled, and sent Erwin a look, who lifted an eyebrow.  
“He just doesn’t listen” said Reiner as an excuse.  
“That he does” confirmed the blonde, ignoring Levi’s cold glare to set his own on Reiner’s face.  
“Still, let him go. He obviously doesn’t want you that close.”  
Reiner huffed, half amused, half annoyed.  
“Who are you, his boyfriend? Can’t he speak for himself?”  
Erwin opened his mouth to retort, but Levi beated him to it.

“Yes.”  
Both taller boys (and Bertholt) looked at him.  
“Yes, I can speak for myself. So get the fuck off, now.”  
Reiner retracted slowly.  
“And no, he’s not my boyfriend. Not yet.”

Levi gathered his bag and books, and sauntered up to Erwin, an almost sweet look on his face.  
“So, about that study date” he gently nudged Erwin, to make him move. “I know a neat place that has a nice area for studying and a bar, so you can get that damned coffee.”

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a kitten yesterday. He's black, with grey eyes and a sour mood. Guess what I called him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, sorry for the delay. I'm abroad right now, and kinda late. This last week was hectic.

The four of them always met up at the little woody area near the sport grounds after school to catch up and make plans every day. That Thursday was no exception.

  
“…I kinda have a date.”  
Hange _shrieked_ , making the other three wince.

“Well, my friend” drawled Nile, once Hange (more or less) calmed down. “That wasn’t so hard now, was it?”  
Erwin studied his features, trying to add an emotion to the sly words, but detecting none.

“So” Hange looked like an overexcited puppy (Hange _was_ an overexcited puppy) “How did you manage it? You seemed utterly hopeless, no offense.”  
“You don’t say” muttered Erwin. “I actually have to thank Math. And Reiner.”  
Mike arched an eyebrow.  
Hange stared.  
Nile laughed. “If you needed a wingman, dude, you just had to ask.”  
“He’s failing Math” said Erwin “I offered to tutor him in the library. Then Reiner, well, I guess he tried to do the same thing I tried to do, the dating I mean.”  
_Well, didn’t exactly seem like he was proposing a_ date.  
Erwin shuddered inwardly.  
“Levi was really pissed off by his methods, though, and we somehow ended up with a… a study-date. At the Walls.”

Hange took to jumping up and down.  
“Oh, oh! I know the place! Really nice. I’ve been there a few times, Sasha’s family runs it. They’re really kind towards students, no wonder Levi suggested it.”  
Nile snorted. “So you’re going to a fancy restaurant to _study_.”  
“It’s not really a restaurant” objected Hange. “More like … compartmented locals. Yes! There is-”  
“Whatever” cut in Nile, an annoyed look on his face. “They’re still going to _study_.”  
“What do you want me to do?” frowned Erwin, irritated. “Drag him in a bathroom stall and make out?”  
Nile shook his head. “It’s a fucking bet, Erwin. He has to kiss you before the semester ends. You don’t have to fucking marry him.”

Erwin looked at his hands, clutching his bag, pensive.

 

 

Levi picked an airy compartment with a shiny, round table and a comfy padded bench that ran all along the round woody partition. Erwin seated himself trying to maintain the same respectful distance.  
A waiter took their orders, smiled and walked away.

“So you like tea?” Erwin made himself comfortable, observing his partner arrange books and pencils neatly before them, leaving a spot for their drinks.  
“Black tea, yes. And I’m a cat person.”  
Erwin hummed. “I like eagles.”  
“I know.”  
Erwin looked at him and Levi looked back.

  
Erwin tried to teach Levi the basics required for understanding the argument he was failing.  
Levi was a fast learner, although Math seemed to bring him on the verge of madness.  
Basics learnt, indeed, the raven started to squirm and fidget, trying to repeat, memorise and apply every word Erwin said, but he got lost during one passage or the other, dropping his pencil and irritatedly running his hand through his hair.

Erwin, for his part, was trying not to look too much at them, or the pouty lips that kept getting bitten by small teeth. They were just so black and shiny. The hair, black and shiny. And the eyelashes. Long.

“Alright” he exclaimed, making Levi look up at him with a dazzled and desperate look. “I think it’s enough for today.”  
“You want to meet up again?”  
Erwin tried to ignore the awed and uncertain tone of his student, and opted for a (strained) smile.  
“It’s counterproductive to stuff togheter too many things. You confuse them and mess up.”  
Levi hung his head low, playing distractely with the worn pencil. Erwin found himself following the pale fingers’ movements, almost missing the next whisper: “Maybe I’m just that daft.”

“No” said Erwin forcefully. Levi looked up, startled.  
“It’s just…” the blond tried to find the right words, and came up with an example.  
“When I was seven, I was… scrawny, and timid.

“My parents made me try out almost every known sport, under the doc’s advice. I started with tennis, then swimming. Basket, and ice skating, and horse riding. Running, fighting, even dancing. But I settled on football.

“It was kind of unexpected, you know. I was a really quiet child. I guess…”

He hesitated, looking ahead of himself, feeling Levi’s curious and attentive gaze on his features.  
“I guess I had this active, violent streak that only football managed to bring out and exhaust. It has helped me ever since.”  
Levi huffed. “So you’re suggesting I start playing american football too?”  
Erwin chuckled. “Let me finish. Thruth is, I didn’t want to play football at the start. I didn’t want to play any sport, at all. I liked reading, and drawing, and talking to butterflies and flowers.”  
Levi had an amused, but tender, look.  
“It was my mother that never stopped encouraging me. Along with my friends, and father, but mostly her. She always said that every bird must learn to fly, and for that-”  
“-has to never give up.”

 

 

Their stroll through the park ended taking up most of their afternoon. Like every Saturday, it was mostly frequented by students that seeked relief from the week and the house.

Erwin offered to buy Levi an hot dog, but the raven declined. Erwin bought one nonetheless.  
They just walked for a bit and then sat under a young pine, rehearsing Math and talking about Erwin’s friends.  
The blonde detected a faint affection in Levi’s tone towards Hange, and Mike.  
When Erwin mentioned Nile, a shadow clouded for an istant Levi’s eyes.  
“You don’t like him?”  
“He’s an asshole” replied the raven. “He used to pick on me when we were little.”  
“Did he?” Erwin frowned. “I don’t remember ever seeing him do something like that.”  
“He didn’t want you seeing him do something like that. But one day you did, and told him to stop and leave me alone. And he did.”  
“Did I?”  
Levi looked at him strangely. “You’ve been hitting your head too much with that football of yours.”

 

 

Erwin drove Levi home, with his old but dear family car, passed down through generations. Levi, though, seemed to like it.

“Here” the raven pointed to a small old house crammed between colorful townhouses. The blond had never been to this part of town and took some time looking around, while Levi gathered his things and turned to face him, with an enigmatic expression in his steely eyes.  
“We could meet Monday, at the library, after your practice. Alright?”  
“Sure” replied Erwin, with a small smile.  
Levi then leaned slightly towards him, expression unchanging.  
The blond was frozen, smile engraved on his face, hands clutching the steering wheel.  
“Thanks, for everything. And Math.”

Then Levi exited the old car, turning and sauntering away with no care in the world.

Erwin felt a tingling sensation spread from his cheek, where Levi’s breath had ghosted over.  
The raven had almost pecked him, and a flame was flaring under his skin as if they had just made out. Hard.

He drove home in a daze, the bet a far, nonexistent thought in his mind.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter on EFP is not up yet, I'm going to post it soon.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry GallifreyanPhD for not waiting for a response, but I have this chapter looking strangely at me and whispering "Set me free, you lethargic magpie! Don't leave 'em hanging!". Also I promised I would post chapters on both sites at the same time to avoid messes and I've already postponed this one for two days...

That Monday, Erwin had a nice surprise.

During practice, his eye fell and lingered on a short figure huddled in a corner of the bleachers, and he received a ball on the face for his distraction.  
“Smith! Stop goofing around and focus, or I’ll put you on the sidelines the next match!”  
“Sorry sir” he mumbled, a little smile stretching his lips despite the coach’ harsh reprimand, feeling Levi’s curious eyes on him the whole time.

“You took your time.”  
Erwin couldn’t stop smiling even in the showers, gaining more than one confused look (and Reiner’s irked one). To think that Levi, who hated getting wet and muddy, had come all the way to the scool’s sport fields on a gray and rainy Monday just for him.  
“Thanks, Levi.”  
That answer gained him another strange look, but then Levi shrugged and gestured for him to come along.  
“I missed the bus because of you. May as well get a ride home.”  
So Erwin, a little confused -shouldn’t they have started studying?- drove Levi home, but instead of just waving him away, the raven put a hand on his hip and asked: “Would you like to come in?”

And that’s how Erwin found himself seated in an old but well-loved couch (like his car), a biscuit in his hand, looking around and trying not to look too uncomfortable under the steely stare of his host.  
Levi was sitting on a simple wooden chair, sipping from a cup of tea, not saying a word as he let the blond adjust to the new sourrounding.  
Erwin rather liked the dark parquet and woody walls. The raven had showed him the kitchen, the small library and the living room.  
The whole house suited Levi, with an air of mystery and strange attractiveness. Erwin’s favourite feature was the marble fireplace, engraved with vines and small dancing figures.  
He was brought out from his musings by a deep sight from Levi.

“Is something wrong?”  
Levi shook his head, a small smile gracing his lips. He gently put the cup on the small coffee table and rose from the chair.  
“I just want to show you my… well… my _football_.”  
Erwin arched an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything as he left the biscuit near Levi’s cup and followed the raven up a staircase, made of dark wood and polished so that it gently reflected the light from the round windows on the wall.

Levi led him down a short corridor with three doors on the right side.  
At the end of the corridor there was another door, larger and taller than the others. Levi pushed it open to reveal a big room, flooding with light that shone from tall windows and reflected from the polished, dark parquet. The walls were lined with bookshelves and at a closer look, Erwin noticed they were all about music and musicians.

“Wow” he murmured, marching slowly toward the center, where rested, as if in waiting, three instruments. A great harp, a black grand piano, and a violin, silently observing him from a chair where it stood standing.

“You like it?” asked Levi with a casual tone, but Erwin could see the trepidation swimming in the silver irises, carefully looking away.

“This is incredible” answered Erwin, sincerity dripping from every word. “The whole house is. But, you live alone?”

“Yes” Levi picked up the violin and somewhat a bow materialised in his hand.  
“When I was a small child, me and my mother lived in a nice neighborhood… She was a singer and a violinist, you see, and she taught me how to play. I also picked up the piano and the harp from the other members of the orchestra she played in, they were all sweet people.”

The raven gestured for Erwin to take a seat, and started fingering the strings.

“But then, she fell ill. She died in a matter of months, and I was left alone. I never knew my father, Mom never talked about him, and my only living realtive seems to be an uncle, although he has contacted me just once.”

_You’re alone_ , Erwin realized. _Truly alone_.  
“I’m sorry” he said. Levi smiled, just a little.

“She managed to leave me a good sum, and this was an old family house that Nanaba, the social assistant, found before Mom’s death by miracle. I suspect Kenny had something to do with it.”

“Kenny?”  
“Mom’s brother” Levi shrugged. “The uncle I told you about before?”  
“Yes, I remember” Erwin smiled.  
“So I basically live by myself. Nanaba comes sometime to check up on me, update me on the bill’s situation, and to try and drag me to Christmas family reunions with her. It’s not so bad. Living alone, I mean” Levi scowled.

“I can guess” Erwin finally found a chair with no music sheets on it and sat down. “No rules, no curfew, no broccoli.”  
“I set my rules, yes.” Levi delicately rested his chin on the violin. “It gets a little lonely sometimes. I’m thinking about getting a cat.”  
Erwin laughed, and Levi arched an eyebrow.

“Music for me is like football for you” he murmured. He dragged the bow a small fraction, a soft A.  
“Football and music are a lot alike, you know” Levi looked fondly at his violin. “They can both lift you, make you soar with emotions and pains. The only difference is that football can wreck you outside, music wrecks you in the inside.”

And then he started playing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeeey sorry for the long wait and the short chapter (not sure I can even call it a chapter) but I had no Wifi for weeks (so horrible, but it’s the price for going to a rustic little town at the seaside) and MASSIVE writer’s block.  
> I couldn’t write anything and I’m still hobbling, badly.  
> So forgive me, pls? I’ll try harder, promise.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When your fingers itch

Levi’s fingers moved across the neck of the violin with grace and ease, his posture straight, but relaxed, at peace. His eyes were half lidded, his lips twitched upward, moving his arm with the confidence of someone who knows what they’re doing.

Erwin couldn’t tear his eyes off Levi’s form, while a gentle lullaby was sweetening the whole room.  
The blond tilted his head, hands on the chair’s edge, body leaning towards the raven and his magic violin. A sense of peace pervaded him: a soft smile gracing his lips much like Levi’s. 

Erwin liked that small, minimal connection: the same emotions and reactions brought up from two different people by the same, short song.  
Levi was right.

The raven dragged the last note, looking Erwin in the eyes while doing so, noting the soft expression.  
He rested the violin upright back on the chair, and walked up to the piano, grazing his fingers across the harp’s chords in his way, creating a small whirlwind of sounds and making Erwin smile again.

Levi caressed the piano’s side like one would a prized horse, admiring the game of the lights reflecting off its shiny surface.

“I love music because it can unite people despite all differences, conflicts and ideas. Music plays with the heart and can influence the mind. It’s a weapon in it’s own right, you know… but I prefer it as a mean to create.”

Erwin listened to every word, committing it to mind, and nodded. “Couldn’t have said it better myself.”  
Levi gave him a small smirk.

“You’re so open with me” stated Erwin, looking at him curiously. Levi shrugged.  
“My uncle gave me one advice, the one and only time I ever saw him: don’t rely on anyone, be independant. He was shady and I was little, so I guess it kinda stuck. But you remind me of my mother. You’re attentive, perseverant, dedicated. She was so passionate too.” 

“You loved her very much.”  
“Of course I did, I still do. She was my mother. The only person aside from Nanaba who ever gave a shit about me.”

The outburst stung. “I give a shit about you” mumbled Erwin before he could catch himself.  
Levi arched an eyebrow at him, sitting down on the piano’s leather seat.  
“My, my, mister Smith. Such language.”

Erwin smiled. “You have an influence on me, Ackerman, with that foul mouth of yours.”  
Levi nearly bristled. _Angry kitten._  
“I don’t recall any massive swearing for at least the last six days, excluding that one slip before. You’re easily influenced, Erwin Smith.”

_No, no I’m not, Levi._

“You know” Erwin cast a slightly hopeful look at the shiny instrument. “I always wanted to play the piano. But football already takes up so much time…”

Levi patted the seat next to him.

 

§§§

 

They agreed to have piano lessons right after their Math sessions, every time they met up at Levi’s house, which was deemed by the raven as the best place to have some peace and quiet.  
Erwin was so excited (for the piano lessons, obviously) that he was practically vibrating on his way to the History class with Hange the next day.

His friend was eyeing him warily ( _Hange_ eyeing _Erwin_ warily), clutching their books to their chest.  
“Okay” they said carefully but obviously happy “what has been Shortie doing to you? Are you…”  
and they leaned towards him with their eyebrows touching their hairline, glasses askew  
“…in _love?_ ”

_Am I?_

“Geez, Hange, way to be tactful.”  
They smiled, a crazy, excited smile. Then they went serious, and Erwin felt dread crawling up his spine.  
“I think I remember him from somewhere, you know?”  
“Somewhere? Like, a bar, or a concert or something?”

Hange shook their head. “No, no. From before. Before school, before… when we were children.”  
Erwin adjusted his bag up his shoulder, thinking. “Maybe he used to play at the park too.”

He knew what Hange meant, thought. That strange sensation, of ease and good memories that flooded him while Levi was playing that lullaby, had kept him up almost all night, togheter with the ghost of the featery touches of Levi’s fingers, guiding his on the piano keyboard.

He shrugged, entering the classroom and picking his usual seat on the front near the window, Hange sitting next to him. He couldn’t shake off the feeling that he should be remembering something.

 

§§§

 

The tought of Levi and strange melodies had haunted Erwin the whole day. To make matters worse, that day Levi didn’t come to lunch and he wasn’t present at Science.

At dinner, Erwin listened to his parents talk about some big fair coming up that month.  
He kept twirling the food on his plate, until his mother noticed something was off.

“Erwin, darling, everything alright?”  
“Ah, Petra, leave the boy alone. He’s clearly lovesick and in need of space.”  
His father tried winking at him from across the table, while Erwin shot him a confused (was he that obvious?) and alarmed look.  
“Oluo, dear, don’t talk with your mouth full and while you’re chewing. You’ll end up-”  
His father bit his tongue. Erwin took advantage of the following commotion to escape in his room.

 

§§§

 

Levi showed him again how to twist his thumb to perform the C scale.  
Erwin was starting to deeply understand Levi’s desperation with Math.

“You said your mother was a singer?” he asked while trying not to look like an idiot with his twisted up useless hand.

“Yes.”  
The gentle rain played it’s own melody against the windows.

“Did she teach you how to sing?”  
“She tried.”  
“Do you sing?”  
“No.”  
“Have you ever sung?”  
“You mean like…?”  
“Have you ever sung for someone?”

Levi patiently adjusted his hand on the keyboard again.  
“I did once.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A minute of silence for the poor harp who nobody plays.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short, it's late, and I have no excuses apart from writer's block and a hint of laziness.

“What do you mean, _socialize?_ ”

Erwin found that after all, Levi still scared him in particular situations. Like now, sharp eyes narrowed, body coiled and tense, back straight, face just slightly turned to look at him.

He focused on the slender fingers tapping the edge of the piano.

“I just said I think you should come to lunch with me and my friends- ”  
“ -to _socialize more_.”

Erwin started fingering a growing hole in the pocket of his blue sweater.

They were at Levi’s house again, playing the piano. Earlier, Levi had played the harp for him, though he refused to sing.  
_I’m not singing some bratty Disney movie song_ , he’d answered at Erwin’s plea for _Everybody wants to be a cat_.

The peaceful, almost dreamy atmosphere that tended to transpire during their times at Levi’s house had acquired and almost electric spark. Erwin could feel a storm brewing on the horizon and changed tactic.

“It’s just, I’d like for you to properly meet them and maybe sometime we could hang out togheter, you know… I just though it would be a good thing for you to meet more people.”

Mistake. The almost-considerate look that was starting to make its way into Levi’s silver orbs hardened again.

“Who are you to tell me who I should frequent?”  
“That’s not-”

“Is that why you approached me in the first place?” Levi’s fingers were now clutching the piano, the other hand digging into his own leg.  
“You finally saw how lonely the poor, foul-mouthed orphan punk was and decided to honour me with your presence again?”

Erwin was baffled. Levi’s reaction wasn’t what he had expected. He had considered sneers and open hostility.  
Not anger, tight lipped fury and… hurt? Was that a shimmer of tears in the raven’s eyes?

“No, Levi, I meant that, well, lately it’s just you and me, and my friends want to know you, that’s all. I’m sorry if it came out the wrong way.”

Well, at least that was Erwin’s translation. Nile had just said _“Man, that little bitch is stealing you away. You don’t even come to lunch anymore!”_  
If Erwin was skipping lunch in favor of going to the roof or the library with Levi, well, that was Erwin’s business alone, and Nile shouldn’t just go around calling people names.

The blond leaned from his chair (it had become Erwin’s Chair after the second day) in an effort to get closer to Levi without looking threatening.  
“I don’t want you to feel compelled to do something, just because I said so. But Levi, I’d really like for you to meet my friends properly.”

_I want to show you off. I want to show you the world._  
That, Erwin didn’t say. On a whim, he tried reaching for Levi’s hand, but the raven moved it quickly, almost reading his mind, and he started playing again. Erwin recognized _River flows in you._

Half an hour later, Erwin bid him goodbye, daring to put a hand on Levi’s shoulder. The boy looked almost startled for a moment, but he regained his composure quickly and didn’t try to shake him off.  
Erwin counted that as a little victory.

  
§§§

  
_So much for the victory_ , Erwin cursed in his mind, again failing to stop the hem of a long black shirt before it disappeared around the corner.

The blond ran along the perimeter of the lockers, but as expected, Levi had vanished.  
Erwin hadn’t managed to talk with Levi for three days straight. The day after The Incident (as Erwin had started dubbing their little episode) Levi barely said Hello to him, with cold eyes and thin lips, and then proceeded on disregarding him the rest of the day.  
As it was a Wednesday, Erwin had practice, but that afternoon no small figure appeared on the bleachers.  
After, Erwin tried going to Levi’s house, but it looked empty.

The routine was repeated on Thursday and Friday, and that evening, Erwin found himself narrating about his predicament to his friends, huddled under a patterned blanket with a bag of oily chips.

“So the bitchy grumpie has ditched you.”  
As always, Nile managed to sum everything up in a single vulgar sentence.

Erwin shook his head, usually impeccable golden hair falling on his eyes. He didn’t want to think of it that way.

Not when the little raven had managed to crawl his way into Erwin’s life, with his music and silver eyes.

His nights were populated by nimble fingers and pale skin that would glow in the light of his night lamp, and a sweet lullaby that sang to his memories.

“Oh no” murmured Erwin.  
“What?” Hange looked at him with a worried expression. He must’ve looked really miserable, to make Hange look worried.

Erwin shook his head. “Monday… Levi has a Math test… and we haven’t revised for three days straight.”  
“Ouch” mumbled Hange.  
And then Erwin realized something.

“Nile, you have that Math test on Monday too.”  
His long-time friend made a sort of strangled sound while the other three looked at him.

“That’s right” said Mike suddenly. “I saw you and Levi talking before leaving the Math class some weeks ago. It was pretty heated.”  
Erwin frowned. “Nile, Levi told me you used to mistreat him when we were children and that you stopped only when I asked you to.”  
“Dude, that was like, ten years ago? You didn’t even remember it. That little bitch can’t still be holding a grudge.” Nile managed to look affronted. “And it was just innocent pranking, nothing too serious.”

The blond looked at him skeptically. Nile shrugged.  
“Listen, tomorrow evening Reiner’s having a small party in his basement. Let’s meet all of us togheter and we’ll explain, alright?”  
“Where does Reiner figure in all of this?” Hange narrowed their eyes at Nile, who shrugged again.  
“Kinda long story.” He yawned and covered his head with the blue blanket. “Look, it’s late, and you’re right, Erwin, I really need to study a little for that test, and you’re going to help me tomorrow morning. So goodnight.”

Erwin decided to give Nile this opportunity, for the sake of their long friendship. But he had this gut feeling and the growing protectiveness toward the small raven pulling at him.

“Goodnight” he replied, and discarded the chips in favour of cuddling his patterned blanket.  
Hange and Mike called it a night too, and both arranged themselves on their own way.  
Mike took refuge between Erwin’s bed and the wardrobe, Hange sprawled themselves on the floor, causing Nile to scoff and kick their feet away from his face.

That night, Erwin dreamed of sad silver eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooray for the harp that was played


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, sorry for being a bit late but I had a Referendum and a fever coming my way.

 

 

 

Hange was trying to play the bass drum again if the chaos going on in his head was any indication.

Erwin was starting to realize the bass drum was, in fact, in his head when a coolness touched his forehead and the storm, synchronized with his heartbeat, weakened.  
He felt his throat parched, and his ribcage ached, but it was thanks to the sensation of having a mouth full of cotton and a tongue more inflated than a balloon that he realized he was hangover.

He gave a pitiful whine. As his sixth sense suggested, he was reclined on a little hill of cuscions, in a half-sitting position and covered up to his chest, meaning he probably even had some fever, since he usually loved to be buried under his quilt but hated it when he was ill.

He felt a light and cool touch on his cheek and pressed against it instinctively, but it disappeared quickly. Erwin thought he heard a faint exclamation of surprise, but in his head his coach had started whistling so he wasn’t entirely sure.  
“Ouch” he lamented with a gruff voice, and the light touch returned, this time under his chin. He felt delicate but strong finger tilting it up and cold glass pressing on his lower lip.

“Don’t drool” admonished a stern voice but with a oh so caring tinge. Erwin had imagined it often in the last few days.

He opened his lips and was mindful of not spilling any drop of water, while trying to open his eyes to see, even if blurred in the dim light of the room, Levi’s pale face.

The silver irises almost glowed with an unsettling sharp light. Erwin could read the disappointment in them even with his leaden eyelids. Levi’s lips were probably so tightly pressed togheter that they almost disappeared.  
Erwin licked his teeth and waited for the lecture. That didn’t fail to come.

“You really are a moron” started Levi calmly. “Of all the idiotic things to do.”  
Erwin felt shame crawling inside his stomach. “Nile…”  
“Nile is even more of a moron than you are, and still you keep following his lead. Getting drunk, Erwin Smith?”  
“You make it sound so tragic…”  
“Twelve shots of an unknown mix of beverages” hissed the petite boy, that looked so menancing to Erwin from the bottom of his pit of shame.  
“Anyway, the getting-shitfaced-‘cause-it’s-the-last-year party I can get” Levi grimaced, And Erwin couldn’t understand if it was due to the raven getting a Nile Priority or the thought of getting drunk in itself.  
“But stripping and then jumping into puddles mid-November is the apex of deficiency even for an abstemious with a devastated brain.”

“…”

Levi arched a slim eyebrow, observing him impassively. Erwin felt his face heating and hid it in the inside of the elbow.  
“How come I don’t remember any of that?”  
“Oh, don’t worry” chirped an all too cheerful Levi, re-arranging the cloth disturbed by the blond’s movements. “I’m sure someone recorded all of it.”  
Erwin paled. His head was keeping on throbbing, and an ache started surfacing behind his eyes. Erwin gave a strangled gurgle.

Levi seemed to take some pity.  
“Here” he said, and presented two magic little pills on the palm of his hand, while handing Erwin the glass.  
The blond grabbed them like a shipwreck victim grabs a float, and swallowed them dry. levi made a face.

“…So…” began Erwin with a cough to break the tension. “How did you get here? Ah, wait, how did you get in here? No, that’s the same, I… Levi, what are you doing in my bedroom?”  
The raven got a look Erwin dared to define amused.  
“Maybe you should get drunk more often” he put the glass on the nightstand and took the cloth from Erwin’s forehead. “You get a lot more funny.”  
Erwin felt himself blushing and tried changing the subject.  
“Levi, really, I… you-Levi, why are you here? I though you were angry with me, and…”  
“Erwin.”  
Erwin lifted his eyes from his white hands and found himself pinned by the now familiar, but still frightening steely stare.

But despite Levi maintaining a hard expression, and his eyes only displaying determination, Erwin could now recognize the anxiety, the sadness and the remorse in the tightly locked lips, on the usually graceful hands that were strangling the poor cloth. In the rigid posture and in the depths of that fierce and fragile stare.

Levi maintained the silver gaze into Erwin’s blue one and quickly murmured these words, so quickly Erwin almost missed them:  
“I’m sorry for not talking to you after that afternoon. It’s just that I thought I had fucked everything up and didn’t have the balls to confront you about it. And when you said you would have liked if I met your friends, well, I understood you really don’t remember anything and I don’t know, it hurt.”

Erwin kept silent. Levi seemed turned to stone, a porcelain doll that gazes into the void with dead, jewel-like eyes.

“You turn to vulgarity when you’re upset.”  
Erwin Smith the Inappropriate scores again.

“It usually keeps people at bay. Doesn’t work with you, though. You’re very determined. Or stupid.”  
Levi instead took advantage of the situation to cover his tension with one of his flattering insults.

“I’m confused on this aspect too.”

Levi sighed.

“Hey” Erwin made an adventurous if not dangerous feat: he put his hand on top of Levi’s ones, gently freeing the cloth and putting it on the nightstand, then encasing them gently.

“Levi… I… I realized there’s a common story in our pasts. Your lullaby… I remember it. I remember it, Levi, I dream about it at night… And I know you remember way more but for some reason you don’t want to tell me about it -no, wait”  
Erwin stopped Levi, who looked like he wanted to interrupt him.  
“I won’t force you to tell me anything. I presume you have a good reason and I want to respect that. If not, you would have already told me, right? You’re not one to sweeten things up.”

Levi bowed his head. “I sung for you, once.”  
Erwin smiled. “Then I feel really lucky.”  
Levi shook his head, the beginning of a smile gracing his lips. And then he paralised Erwin again with two cold, luminous silver irises.  
“I never told you anything because I’m a proud bastard, Erwin Smith. I want you to come to me with the right words, on your knees, asking for forgiveness.”

The tone with which Levi pronounced those words was one Erwin had never heard him use before, but that combined with the intrinsic meaning of them, provoked a light shock that travelled from his nape to the point of his toes and made his fingers prickle, suddenly iper-conscious of Levi’s own fingers between them. Aside from a bell sounding worriedly and concerning his lower parts, that deemed the turn of the conversation very interesting.

“Ah” he hurried to cross his legs so to hide his little problem. “Maybe you’re right… I’ve been hitting my head too much with that football of mine…”. He even tried getting his hands out of the violinist’s hold without seeming too rude, but to his surprise, Levi himself retracted his hands hastily first. With as much haste he got up from his chair, grabbed the cloth and disappeared inside Erwin’s little bathroom.  
The latter didn’t have enough time to assimilate the last four seconds of his life, because Levi suddenly changed tone.

“Erwin” his name said in such a cold way made him a child again, because it was the same one his mother used when he forgot to tidy his room.

“What the fuck is this pigsty?!”  
Levi re-emerged like a thornado, cloth forgotten, and planted himself fists on the hips and legs steady at the feet of the bed.  
“Tomorrow you’re convalescent” he hissed “and the first thing you do is make that bathroom accesible again. Right?”  
Erwin nodded.

Levi relaxed a little, then huffed and went back inside, coming out with a humid cloth and threw it on Erwin’s forehead, who tried to disappear into the cuscions.

“At least you didn’t puke in that sorry excuse of an adolescent concentrate of shit.”  
“Didn’t I?”  
Levi accomodated himself on the chair again and crossed his legs. Erwin found himsefl following the movement.  
“No. In return, you puked on the street and on the seats of Mike’s car.”

Erwin stayed silent for a while, until his curiosity got the best of him.  
“Levi… what did I do last night?”

The raven’s grin did nothing but increased his desperation, but that curious streak that haunted him since the cradle was hammering insistently on his nape.

“Ah” Levi leaned toward him of a fraction, a seducent smile sharpening his eyes.  
“You want me telling in chronological order or idiotical order?”  
“Levi…” Erwin was about to start crying.

“When I arrived you were already and definitely tipsy.” Levi got a faraway look.  
“How did you know where to find me?” asked Erwin genuinely curious.  
“You want the fuck-up list yes or not?” blurted Levi instead, whereupon Erwin hastened to nod -but not too much, ouch, hangover- and to sink into the cuscions, with the cloth in disarray.

“It didn’t take much to locate you in that sweaty hoard of hormones and alcohol… maybe because you were trying to go upstairs climbing the handrail.”

Erwin stared.

“Then when you saw me you shrieked something akin to LeeLee! and collapsed on me, great way to attract even more attention.”

Erwin covered his eyes with the cloth.

“i managed to lead you outside somehow… ah, yes, because you were desperately trying to kiss me. But then you saw the puddles and decided it was a good thing to strip and jump in them.”

Erwin wished to die. “Levi…”

Levi ignored him. “It took me half an hour only to get the shirt back on you… you almost puked on me, then changed your mind and puked inside Mike’s car, where we were trying to drag you and that other crazy thing that was even more gone than you, if possible.  
“Suddenly thanks to God you kindly told us you had to puke again, so we stopped near the square. Instead, you didn’t puke but strolled calmly to the Founder’s statue and chatted with it for at least ten minutes.”

Erwin’s ears had started to whistle. Levi had seen him practically naked while he vomited alcohol and talked with statues.

“At a certain point you fainted on Hange -you should see the bump, you crashed on them- and we managed to take you home. Mike put you to bed while I cleaned the living room.”  
“Cleaned…”  
Levi shrugged. “You puked there too.”

Erwin clenched his eyes shut, then remembered a not indifferent detail.  
“Levi, where are my parents?”  
The raven adjusted the cloth, turning it on the other side. “They said they were going to a camper fair, or a chocolate fair, I didn’t really get it. Your father tends to bite his tongue.”

Erwin laughed, but the action caused a painful stab on his chest and a double one behind his eyes, and the laughter became a strangled groan.  
“Oh, for the love of -here, take this.” Levi handed him two more pills but prevented him from swallowing them immediately, knocking the glass on his teeth.  
Erwin complied, docile one-third because of the pain and two-thirds because of the murderous glare Levi was giving him.

“By the way, I’m moving here for a couple of days.”  
“What- Levi, what’s going on?…”  
Levi tucked him in, almost lovingly but effectively trapping Erwin with the sheets.

“Try to get some sleep…”  
“You have beautiful eyes…”  
“Maybe I exaggerated with the painkillers.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found difficulties translating this particular chapter. Italian has more insults and swearwords, dammit.
> 
> I can’t do sentimentaaaal and I’m not entirely sure about the “whereupon”. Help.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, it's still me, I just changed username because I messed up some things and decided to keep the same one for both Ao3 and Tumblr (which is actually HardHeadedPaprikaLover, just in case) to avoid losing things and making more messes.

 

 

 

 

 

“Aced it. I think.”

Erwin managed to not drop his fork when Levi plopped down next to a bewildered Hange on their lunch table that Monday.  
Next to him, instead, Mike dropped his sandwich and Nile choked on his water.

“…Levi?”  
The raven directed a stern look at him. “Nope, Eyebrows. I’m Prince Charming.”  
Then Hange laughed -a full fledged honk of merryment- and slammed their hand on Levi’s shoulder. To his credit, Levi didn’t even flinch under the assault, but Erwin saw a dangerous twitch of his right eye.

“Hey, Shortie, it’s bad luck to say you’ve accomplished something before you know the results.” Hange challenged death when they _rubbed_ Levi’s shoulder and contradicted him.

Slowly, Levi turned his head to look at them. “Don’t call me that, fucking shitty glasses.”  
And Hange nodded meekly.  
Then Levi looked at Erwin and scoffed.  
“Close your mouth and finish chewing, Erwin Smith, or else flies will not only invade your esophagus but lay eggs and colonize it.”

_That_ made Erwin drop his fork, but he closed his mouth and swallowed his chewed up salad.  
The blond then noticed the rancorous look his raven was giving Nile, who in turn looked like he wanted Mike’s sandwich to eat him, and then Mike to eat them both.  
Erwin sent his own questioning glance at his long time friend, but Nile avoided his eyes and looked down into his plastic Space Jam container.

Levi directed his scary stare to Erwin.  
“Didn’t I tell you to stay at home today?”  
Erwin shrugged. “I have special practice this afternoon… the Christhmas Special eliminatiories are about to start so…”  
Levi sighed.  
“I took two aspirines” said Erwin apologetically.

An awkward silence descended then onto the usually chatty table, while Levi looked somewhat smug, if Erwin’s eyes weren’t betraying him.  
The raven materialized from thin air a brown paper bag and extracted from it a small sandwich, starting to eat it peacefully. Mike’s eyes widened.

“Are those… shrimps?”

 

  
§§§

 

  
“Nile, we’ve known each other a long time.”  
Alright, maybe starting with a line from a cheesy teen love movie where the boy is awkwardly trying to ask the girl out was not the ideal start up for a serious conversation with one of his best friends.

But Nile seemed startled by it and paying full attention to Erwin’s words, so Erwin decided to keep going.  
“I know you wouldn’t lie to me on serious and important matters.”  
At that, Nile made a half scared, half guilty face and the blond quarterback started feeling a bit odd.

They were near the sport grounds, at the entrance of the school gym, waiting for the class before theirs to end. It was Erwin’s last period for the day, then he had a special permission for the extraordinary practice session.

“I just need you to… well, to tell me what happene-”  
“It wasn’t my fault! Well, mostly, but you know Reiner he’s always been bossy-”  
Erwin put his hand on Nile’s mouth to stop the onslaught of panicked words. Then he grabbed Nile by the shoulders and moved him out of the way, seeing the first sweaty students come out of the building and having to circle around the two standing in front of the double doors.

“Alright, slow down. I was just asking you to tell me what happened exactly Saturday night. And then what Reiner has to do with all this.”  
Nile fidgeted and avoided Erwin’s eyes. “Ah, it’s just… look, I don’t want to get dragged into this mess, alright? It’s between you and him, and Levi I guess. Oh, doesn’t Levi have PE now? He should be changing right now… maybe you should go and ask him…”

Erwin mused silently about the “mess” concept while mentally reviewing Levi’s schedule -with the usual guilty sting- and decided to go and ask Hange and Mike, since evidently Nile wasn’t going to speak.  
“Alright” he drawled, pining Nile with a serious stare, trying to convey all of his disappoint in him just like his mother managed to do. “But this doesn’t end here. And how do _you_ know Levi has PE now?”.  
Nile paled and simply whispered “Reiner.”

 

§§§

 

  
Levi was, in fact, changing.  
Erwin nearly dropped his bag when he realised the bent over, half naked boy in the right corner of the otherwise desert room, was Levi, clad in a loose black shirt, tight black boxers and high blue socks that reached his knee, humming that damned lullaby as if enticing Erwin to come even closer to his unaware round butt.

He must’ve let out a louder choked gasp than he tought, because Levi turned to look at him, straightening himself up in a haughty pose, black pants clutched to his chest in a defensive manner and a fearsome scowl on his slightly reddened face.

Erwin could’ve seriously jumped him, but the fiery silver gaze stopped him, with its promise of a very firm kick where the sun doesn’t shine.

“Erwin?”

 

§§§

 

  
Erwin skipped PE that day.  
He emerged from a bathroom stall on the other side of the school grounds just in time for that extraordinary practice session.

 

  
§§§

 

  
The usually calming scent of the changing rooms didn’t do anything to soothe Erwin’s nerves that day.  
He had been distracted the entire time that afternoon and his coach had seriously reprimanded him and threatened to actually leave him on the bench the first match of the season.  
Erwin knew he wouldn’t actually do anything of the sort, the team wasn’t as strong without him.  
The image of Levi’s bent form kept sneaking up on his inner cornea whenever Erwin managed to concentrate, and he’d nearly been caught with a half boner by Reiner.

Reiner, who was looking at him smugly from the other side of the room.  
Reiner, who kept stealing glances at the petite figure seated on the bleachers during practice, but managed to actually stay focused.  
Reiner who apparently had some unfinished business with Erwin from their common past.  
Reiner who had tried to touch Levi, the day the raven himself had settled a date with Erwin.

The blond could feel his hackles rising.  
He waited until the rest of the team left, everyone except Reiner, and Bertholt.  
It took him a half-hearted glare from Erwin and a nudge from Reiner to actually leave.

“So” started the other blond. “That little bitch still hasn’t bent over for you, now has he?”  
Erwin faltered, the now familiar image smugly sitting right in front of his eyes.  
Reiner read Erwin’s silence as defeat and smiled.  
“Just like I tought. He’s still a pretentious wooden pussy, isn’t he?”  
“A what?”  
Reiner rolled his eyes. “Well, a wooden asshole.”  
Erwin felt some protective instinct and his pride flaring and growling at the offense when he caught up the meaning.  
Reiner laughed at his outraged face, and then snickered.  
“You think you’re really the first one to try and get into his pants? Under all that hissing and spitting he’s a pretty hot piece of ass, it’s just that nobody goes swimming at the small lake in the park so nobody’s ever seen him without that oversized shirts and cock-blocking scowl.”  
“It’s not…”  
“You like it?” Reiner laughed again. “Well, it looks like you were made for eache other, truly. A hissing bitch and a smug bastard that can’t take his alcohol.”

Erwin punched him.  
And Reiner laughed again.  
Erwin tried to punch him again, but the other boy blocked it and delivered his own punch on Erwin’s stomach. He snaked an arm around his neck and whispered in his ear:  
“You better make sure he’s truly yours before you swear eternity, Smith.”

Then the pressure was gone and Reiner was curled up on the floor, hands between his legs, and Levi was standing there looking thunderous.  
“You have a bad habit of taking your time” he spat at Erwin, before turning and marching out, diasppearing into the twilight and leaving both blonds to glare at each other.

Reiner hastily grabbed his bag and shoved a worried Bertholt out of the way, and Erwin at least admired his willpower to get up after such a kick in the balls.

He stayed seated on the floor, musing on the implications of Reiner words, Levi’s hurt expression, and the fact he had almost lost control of his strength, again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep dragging things along, forgive me.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi is a tiny grumpy cinnamon roll, and Erwin is a big fluffy blond teddy bear. Damn Isayama.

Erwin expected Levi to start avoiding him again. But Levi seemed to change tactics.

That same evening when he got back home, he found his mother cooking (and his father clumsily trying to help her).  
“Oh, Erwin, dear” she called for him from the kitchen.  
“Cuold you go and see if Levi needs anything? He seemed a bit shaken when he came back… by the way, why did the two of you come back separately?”  
Petra had a dangerously suspicious look in her eyes (she was apparently very fond of Levi).  
“Darling, it’s obvious they had a discussion. Let them get throught this on their own, yes? They’re big boys.”  
Sometimes, his father scared him, what with his perceptiveness. Still, Erwin mouthed a Thank you to him while his father just winked and put his arm around his wife’s shoulders to distract her.

Since Erwin woke up that Sunday, Levi had been eyeing him strangely, while getting in his mother’s good graces by cleaning almost the entire house until it shined and helping her cook (thus getting in his father’s good graces too).  
Apparently, some vandals had broken Levi’s house’s door and windows, and even stealed some of his clothes (“Those shit-eating trolls”) and so Nanaba had asked the Smiths if they were kind enough to let him stay for a few days, until the damage was repaired and after Levi threathened to eat all of his violin’s chords and choke to death if she tried putting him in something like an orphanage or some shit.  
Petra had been far too happy and so in a matter of hours, while Erwin slept the alcohol off, Levi had been taken in by the Smiths like a stray cat.  
The raven had claimed the guest room and scattered (Erwin was careful not to say that word aloud, lest he got socked in the jaw) his few belongings all around it.

The blond tip-toed to Levi’s closed door, just before his in the hallway, and tried catching any sounds coming from the room.  
But before he could hear anything, the door was thrown open and Levi was facing him.  
“Come in” he hissed, and then pulled Erwin in forcefully when the blond wasn’t fast enough in complying with his demands.  
Levi shut the door and set a hard stare on the other boy, who was just standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, trying not to touch any of Levi’s things in fear of angering the raven even more.  
Levi then sighed. He slowly walked around Erwin (who stiffened just a bit) and opened the drawer int the corner. Inside were hanging neatly some pants and shirts and Levi’s old brown coat.  
The short boy tried reaching for the shelf above the clothes, but failed miserably and huffed, annoyed.  
Erwin then walked behind him and took the small, surprisingly heavy carton box decorated with crayon drawings. The work of a child.  
It was Levi’s turn to stiffen, and Erwin hastily retreated. He timidly handed the box over, which Levi took gingerly.  
“How did you put it there?”  
Well damn.  
“I used a chair” Levi sat on the bed and patted the spot next to him. “Here.”  
Erwin approached the bed slowly while Levi opened the box. The blond seated himself at a safe distance from Levi, and peered inside.  
There were some folded up papers, two tickets for a concert at the Grand Theatre of the town, some painted stones, a silver teaspoon, and a carillon.  
Levi cradled the carillon, looking at it fondly.  
It was a small thing, a porcelain oval painted with light blue rosebuds, that sat comfortably in Levi’s tiny hands.  
Erwin had the sudden urge to gather both it and Levi in his arms and never let go.  
The raven opened it, and to Erwin’s shock and delight, it started playing Levi’s lullaby.  
The short boy reached inside and took a small folded sheet, closing the carillon and putting it back inside the carton box.

“Here,” he handed it to Erwin. “Read it. Tell me what it makes you think.”  
Carefully, Erwin accepted the little treasure (at least, from the way Levi handled it, it must have been.)  
Still looking at Levi’s pale face, he unfolded it. Written in a messy scrawl, there was one sentence.

_Look, my love, how high the Wind makes the eagle soar._

  
He’d seen that sentence. It was written on the back of his parent’s wedding picture, where his father was holding his mother bridal style, two twin smiles that shined at each other.

Well, that first part of a sentence. The other part was supposed to be said to your lover in the intimacy, where no one else could hear.  
It was a small tradition, a silly promise lovers made each other when they wanted to be togheter.

Under the half sentence, there was a crayon drawing of two little children holding hands. One had messy yellow hair and blue eyes, the other short black hair and grey eyes, a small pouty mouth contrasting with the large smile of the blond little boy.  
“Oh.”

And then, Levi chuckled.  
“It was such a giant fuck-up from the start.”  
He reached over to take the drawing back, but Erwin dropped it in his own lap and took Levi’s fingers in his hand.  
“I…”  
“We used to live near each other too” Levi freed his fingers and grabbed for the drawing again, but Erwin closed his hand over it.  
Levi huffed. “You were such a whiny, know-it-all brat, always chasing bees and utterly enamoured with my mother. You said you were going to marry her. I was so jealous.”  
“Levi”  
“Shut up. We used to play near the little lake at the park, and you always bragged about your swimming skills, even though I had to save you from drowning once. Actually that’s how we met.”  
Erwin could feel himself starting to smile, because he remembered. There was a fierce little thing grabbing at his hair and shouting about what an idiot he was, jumping in the cold water just like that, and didn’t his parents tell him that it was dangerous?  
Levi kept ranting.  
“I… I think I was your first friend, actually. Hange and Mike moved near us the year after, and the year after that…”  
Erwin let go of the drawing and again, cradled Levi’s hand in his own. The raven was starting to tremble a little, and after Erwin managed to get a good look at his face, he realized it was from rage.  
“Was it Reiner?”  
He tentatively reached for Levi’s other hand, and Levi let him.  
“He kept pushing me around” he murmured. “He said it was because he liked me, but I didn’t like it. Nile, that jerk… I don’t know why he stuck with him. They were friends before they started coming to the park, I think, but you eventually lured him away.”  
Erwin brushed his thumbs over Levi’s clenched hands.  
“Levi, why don’t I remember any of this?”  
“How should I know?” Levi spat, but then seemed remorseful and sighed.  
“Maybe… maybe it was the cold water, again.”  
“The cold water?”  
“Yes, Erwin Smith. You have a low tolerance for both cold and alcohol, it seems.”  
Erwin felt himself blush, but didn’t reply, instead letting Levi talk to him.  
“Here.”  
Again, Levi reached for the drawing. He unfolded it and showed it to Erwin upside down, holding it before his eyes.  
“You’re a clever boy, Erwin, you always have been. I liked it. But for all your cleverness, you never once realized I had a crush on you. Not even once.”  
Erwin blushed some more.

“It was like any other day. My mother was already ill, I think, but she managed to hide it until the last moment.  
“That afternoon, she had played the harp for us, and then you said you wanted to tell me something, a secret. So I took you upstairs, in my room. I showed you my new drawing, and you wrote that half sentence on it. I was so happy…”

Erwin started to feel dread crawling up his spine. If only he’d known…  
“You said it was for Marie. Marie, that girl from your class, the one you had started talking about all day. You asked me to help you practice your handwriting, because Marie was always so precise and you didn’t want her to think bad of you. And I… I got angry.”  
“Levi-”  
“I started screaming. You’d swore you’d protect me, and that you would always love me. I realized after, that they were just a friend’s words. Just a child’s words. But I was a child too, and you were my first friend… half of my entire world.”

Levi’s hands were shaking, and Erwin reached for them. Levi leaned back a little.  
“I practically chased you away. You got angry too, and said I was a terrible friend. I still remember it, Erwin… the face you made. You looked so betrayed.

“You ran away, and the next day, you didn’t come to the park. Reiner came, and he hit me. He made fun of me… he said nobody would ever want me but him. I hit him back, and ran home. The week after, we moved away. Farther from Reiner, from you, and closer to the hospital. My mother, the other half of my world, died one month after.

“Your parents took you to the funeral… you gave me a red rose, and you said sorry. But I ran away, again. I ran to the lake. And you ran after me.”  
“Levi”  
Erwin was starting to remember something. Flashes of colors, of sounds, of a child’s broken sobs.  
“It was early winter… the lake was frozen over, but the ice was thin. I tried getting away from you, but you kept chasing me. I don’t know why I didn’t see the lake, but you suddenly called after me, and you sounded so scared.”  
“Levi”  
The cold wind blowing long-dead leaves on his face, the blurred figure of Levi before him. The snap of the ice cracking in the silent air.

“I was lighter than you, but you decided coming after me on the ice was a good idea. I tried to warn you, but you just said you were a good swimmer.”  
It was a lie. He was a terrible swimmer.  
“It didn’t matter anyway Erwin! The water was too cold! You were too heavy! You never listened to me, you big ass idiotic-”  
“Levi”  
Erwin tilted Levi’s face up and kissed him.  
Levi sobbed.  
Erwin cradled the back of Levi’s head, still gently pressing his lips to the raven’s.  
After mere seconds, or maybe half an hour, he leaned back. Levi’s eyes were closed, and when he opened them, they remained hooded. His lips were a little reddened and Erwin smiled.  
“Levi, I think I have a crush on you.”  
Silver eyes slitted. “Idiot” Levi said, and leaned forward, meeting Erwin halfway for a new kiss.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well things... escalated.


	11. Not a chapter

Hey guys, I'm sorry I'm doing this, but I'm being submerged by real life and responsibilities, and I'm trying to get an agreement with a real editor so I have to focus on another work of mine.

It saddens me to see this end up unfinished, so I'm setting it up for adoption. If anyone's interested, they can contact me and I'll send them my notes, if they want them, although you'll have to tell me how in the comments as I'm pretty clueless and a tad helpless around here... Or you can decide how this is gonna end (good luck with explaining the title) and if you want me to delete the story from my account.

Again I'm sorry, I swear. I was so happy with this idea of mine. Damn growing up and responsibilities.


End file.
